Despite not having a revelation of biblical proportions I still got the chance to mentally prepare myself for two hours of potentially awkward stares. I was about to plunge in head first into the largely untested waters of silent dating, the latest in a series of outlandish events aimed at creating a real, unspoken connection between people. I took off the over-sized Belle and Sebastian t-shirt I had been wearing all day and substituted it with a denim shirt which was making a long-awaited comeback. Clearly talking had been going so well for me to the point where I was heading out to a silent dating event. So, with some optimism, I got on the train to Clapham to meet 40 other single Londoners who were also looking to find love. After being welcomed by the host Adam, and his fantastic moustache, some of my fears were put to rest. I was still the youngest by some distance but most of the crowd was also in their 20s or early 30s.
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Call me crazy but, in my experience, strange men coming at me from silent is normally a fight or flight situation. However, the group is bonding over shared experiences — exactly what ringmaster Adam is dating for. Silent break to take sips of water or gulps of wine thing dating awkward down to the main event: eye-gazing dating. It sounds simple. But it is not. I think about how the world would be a nicer place if we all but this — made genuine, non-sexual connections — on a daily basis.
I also consider how many people I would date on sight but rule out when they open their mouth. And each make a note of the previous number and write silent notes alongside. Sometimes, I stare so hard that their face dissolves to one prominent eyeball. But then my mind drifts to domestic homicide. He could murder me. Adam tells me there were an incredible 67 matches within went group of about looking-for-love hopefuls. And, though there silent no one who took my fancy enough for me to make a match, I dating glad went saw fit to rescue the puppy.
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As the silent flirting games got progressively more fingers, hands and eyes on, I stayed close to my friend Niall who had reluctantly accompanied me to the event. So I went in eyes blazing. The girls all had to find a space in the room and the guys had to rotate around, doing 90 seconds of speechless speed dating before moving on to the next. Thanks to my eyes being a total bitch, I only got one match, number 8. Hope you enjoyed yourself. It was definitely something different. Where are you based?
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Our speed dating events in Clapham attract a fun, lively crowd every but tables were too close so there was not enough space and silence to.
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For more than 5 years Shhh Dating has been helping creative and professional Londoners get it together! Our unique dating experiences are friendly, playful and totally unique. Shhh lets you meet people in a playful and meaningful new way.
Jane is guest blogging for me this week and has written you a little note to you. A hipster, trendy bar full of middle class, brogue-wearing Claphamites. I immediately accuse Al of bringing me to a lesbian dating event. Perhaps she has decided that, still single at 32, I am desperate to claw my way out of the proverbial closet and is bringing me along to this event as the push I need.
To my relief, after a few minutes the men are released into the pen. We cast a steely eye around our competition. No too shabby I have to say! The women of Clapham have done themselves proud and there is barely a minger in sight. It feels a bit like a meat market as all present eye each other up and down. A quick eyebrow raise is shared between Alice and I who are both about as wholesome as a McDonalds happy meal and we are invited to take part in a series of silent games including some kung-fu sparring, improv and finger dancing.
Break time regroup and Al and I assess the available miscellany of men whilst glugging on the Sauvignon Blanc. The women are invited to sit down at tables whilst each man sits for 90 seconds and stares longingly into her eyes. The eye gazing was one of the most bizarre twenty minutes of my life.
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Who hasn’t! And off I scuttled, betraying my uptight comrades like a sexually advanced Judas. Light ritual humiliation out of the way we got down to the good stuff. To the went tones of Zero 7 we shuffled around the room in a sort of rehabilitation exercise for dead-eyed commuters. Adam managed to simulate a sort of “Mindfulness while changing lines at Green Park” atmosphere, and soon got us to dating our gaze up each other’s bodies towards the eyes.
Once we’d all had a good gander at each other’s dick and tits, things got a little more “hands on”.
you’re a solicitor) so this week I’m going mute and trialling silent speed dating. 7pm on a drizzly Wednesday in Clapham, donning my best.
Last week, a press release dropped in my inbox announcing the arrival of a new concept speed-dating night called ” Shhh. My immediate reaction was exhaustion. Londoners, not satisfied spending their entire weekends photographing street art in parking lots or eating cronuts in onesies, seem to have roped their love lives into the endless quest for novelty. Chit-chat aside, I had some reservations about the “full-on” nature of the Shhh experience.
Even in my most intense relationships, the idea of someone fixing me with some dreamy, thin-lipped pout-gaze does something to my acid reflux. But then I am also very conscious of dying alone. So off I went. The press release boasted that this was for “people who want to find deep connections, without the mask of predictable conversations. I love predictable conversations! Small talk is my foreplay.